Most couples aren't fighting
about what they think
they're fighting about.
Relationship therapy at BIPS goes beneath the surface — to the patterns, cycles, and attachment needs driving the conflict. For all relationships, without qualification.
Relationships get stuck in cycles.
Therapy helps you understand — and change — yours.
Every couple has a negative cycle — a recurring pattern of conflict, withdrawal, criticism, or disconnection that repeats itself regardless of the topic. The arguments might be about money, parenting, sex, time, or dishes. But underneath, they're almost always about the same things: feeling unseen, feeling unsafe, not knowing how to reach each other.
Our couples therapists are trained in EFT — the most rigorously researched approach to couples work — and bring a psychodynamic understanding of attachment, patterns, and the way each partner's history shapes what they bring into the relationship. The goal isn't conflict-free. The goal is a relationship where you can actually reach each other when it matters most.
We work with couples at all stages — newly together and already struggling, long-term partners in a rut, couples navigating major transitions, and partners considering whether to stay or go. Wherever you are, you're welcome here.
Whatever is happening
between you, we've worked with it
You don't need to be on the brink to start. Many couples come to therapy not in crisis but wanting something better — more connection, less distance, a way back to each other.
Recurring arguments that never resolve, shutting down, criticism, contempt — the patterns that make it impossible to actually hear each other.
Feeling like roommates, losing the intimacy you once had, or never quite having it in the first place.
Desire discrepancy, navigating different sexual needs, shame, avoidance, and the complexity of maintaining a physical relationship over time.
Infidelity, broken agreements, repeated disappointments — and the question of whether repair is possible and what it would actually take.
New parenthood, loss, career upheaval, relocation — changes that stress even strong relationships and shift the dynamic between partners.
Building a strong foundation before challenges arise — values, conflict styles, family expectations, and what you each actually need from a partnership.
Opening up, navigating ENM, polyamorous relationship dynamics, agreements and communication in non-traditional structures — with a therapist who gets it.
When you're not sure whether to stay or go. Discernment therapy helps partners make a clear, thoughtful decision — without pressure in either direction.
Evidence-based, attachment-informed,
and grounded in your actual relationship
Our therapists don't apply a formula. They bring their full clinical training to bear on what you and your partner are actually experiencing — and adapt their approach to what you need.
The most extensively researched approach to couples therapy. EFT works by identifying the negative cycle driving your conflict, understanding the attachment needs beneath it, and creating new patterns of reaching and responding. Most couples notice a shift within a few months.
Each partner brings their history into the relationship — patterns learned in childhood, past relationships, and family of origin. A psychodynamic lens helps both partners understand what they each bring to the dynamic, and how to stop replaying patterns that don't serve the relationship.
For partners navigating desire discrepancy, intimacy avoidance, sexual identity, shame, or any aspect of their sexual relationship — with a therapist who approaches sexuality without judgment and with genuine clinical knowledge.
Affirming without having to prove it
You shouldn't have to spend your couples session educating your therapist about your relationship structure, identities, or community. Our therapists come to this work already informed — about LGBTQIA+ relationships, ENM and polyamory, kink communities, and the specific relational dynamics that accompany different identities and structures.
Affirming care here means your relationship is treated as valid and worth investing in — not explained away, pathologized, or handled with uncomfortable curiosity. It's just the baseline.
Couples Therapy Intensives
Specialized program · BIPSFor couples who need focused progress in a concentrated format — half-day or full-day sessions that accomplish in a weekend what weekly therapy might take months to reach. Led by Valarie Merced, LMHC — sex therapist, sexologist, and senior psychotherapist.
Learn more about intensives →Three formats available
3–4 hours focused on a specific issue or inflection point in the relationship — high impact, concentrated.
A full day of work, with breaks — for couples needing deeper exploration or at a significant crossroads.
Multiple consecutive sessions for couples who want comprehensive, sustained progress over several days.
What to expect when you reach out
Reach out
A brief message is enough. Let us know you're looking for couples therapy and a little about your situation. Our intake coordinator will follow up within 24–48 business hours.
We match you
We'll pair you with a couples therapist whose training, approach, and availability fit your needs — and who has experience with your relationship structure and any specific concerns you've mentioned.
A free 15-minute call
Before committing, you'll have a brief consultation call with your matched therapist — together or separately, depending on what feels right. No obligation.
You begin
Sessions are typically 50–60 minutes, weekly. Many couples notice meaningful shifts within the first 8–12 sessions — though the timeline is always your own.
Ready to find
your way back to each other?
Reach out and tell us a little about what's going on. Our intake team will match you carefully — no pressure, no commitment required.
