Couples & Sex Therapy Intensives
A focused, immersive experience that gives your relationship the time and depth it deserves — months of progress, condensed into one or two days.
Valarie Merced
LMHC · Sexologist · EFT-Informed Couples Therapist · Clinical Supervisor at BIPS
“My goal is to support you in creating a thriving relationship with life.”
Valarie is a licensed mental health counselor and trained sexologist — a genuinely uncommon combination in New York. Most couples therapists refer sexual concerns out. Most sex therapists don't do deep attachment work. Valarie does both, in the same room, at the same time, which is exactly why the intensive format works so well in her hands.
Her clinical work integrates Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with humanistic, psychodynamic, CBT and mindfulness practices. She describes her style as gentle yet direct: warm enough that both partners settle, honest enough that the real thing finally gets named. Her practice is trauma-informed and culturally sensitive.
Her specialty is the territory most people find hardest to talk about — healthy sexuality, desire, relationship dynamics and alternative lifestyles. She works with ethical non-monogamy, polyamory and intimate networks, kink communities, sex workers and paraphilias, without pathologizing, flinching, or asking you to translate your life into terms she finds comfortable.
Beyond her own caseload, Valarie is a clinical supervisor at BIPS, guiding other clinicians' sex therapy and couples cases.
- Licensure
- LMHC, New York
- Specialist training
- Sexology · EFT
- Sees
- Couples & intimate networks
- Where
- Greenpoint · Union Square · Virtual
Most couples aren't fighting about what they think they're fighting about. We help you find what's underneath.Valarie Merced, LMHC
Some things can't be worked through fifty minutes at a time.
In a typical weekly session, just as something real begins to open, it's time to stop — and you carry it into another week of the same patterns. An intensive removes that ceiling. Over one or two full days you work deeply and continuously, without the warm-up and wind-down that fragments weekly work.
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70–73%
of couples completing Emotionally Focused Therapy — the gold-standard, attachment-based approach — report lasting improvement in relationship satisfaction.
Johnson, EFT outcome research -
2–3 mo.
of weekly progress is achievable in a single intensive, because continuity removes the restart that begins every weekly session.
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$14K+
average cost of an uncontested divorce in New York. An intensive is a fraction of that — and for many couples it is the intervention that makes the difference.
lawyers.com
Intensives work best when time is what you need most.
Stuck in the same argumentCouples cycling through the same conflict who can't break through in weekly sessions.
After a ruptureBetrayal, a major transition, or prolonged disconnection that weekly work isn't reaching.
Demanding schedulesCouples who can't reliably commit to a weekly appointment but can clear a day.
Investing proactivelyBefore marriage, a child, a move, or another significant change.
Every relationship structureLGBTQIA+ couples, ENM partnerships, polyamorous configurations and intimate networks.
Sexuality and intimacyDesire, shame, mismatched libido, or sexual difficulty, in a genuinely affirming space.
Three formats — all led by Valarie.
Each intensive is shaped through a thorough pre-intake. All formats are fee-for-service — contact us to discuss availability and fees.
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Half day · 3 hours
The Focused Session
Targeted work on one specific issue, or a complement to ongoing weekly couples or sex therapy.
- Pre-intensive intake, individual and joint
- Three-hour focused session with Valarie
- Written summary and next steps
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Most chosen
Full day · 6 hours
The One-Day Intensive
The equivalent of six to eight weeks of weekly sessions, in one structured, immersive day.
- 90-minute pre-intensive intake per partner
- Six hours of structured therapy with Valarie
- Personalised care plan and 30-day follow-up
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Two days · 10–12 hours
The Two-Day Intensive
For significant rupture, longstanding disconnection, or complex intimacy and sexuality concerns.
- Full pre-intensive intake
- Two consecutive days with Valarie
- Written treatment plan and two follow-up sessions
Evidence-based. Deeply relational.
Valarie's work draws on Emotionally Focused Therapy, psychodynamic couples therapy and formal sexology training — one of the rarer combinations available from any therapist in New York City.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
The gold-standard attachment-based approach to couples work, with over thirty years of research behind it — including with couples who felt there was no hope.
Sex therapy & sexology
Formal sexology training brings a non-pathologizing lens to desire, intimacy, shame and sexual identity. Valarie also supervises sex therapy cases at BIPS.
Psychodynamic depth
Family-of-origin dynamics, unconscious relational templates and implicit expectations — the deeper currents shaping how partners experience each other.
Fully affirming practice
LGBTQIA+ couples, ENM, polyamorous and kink-involved relationships are welcomed without qualification. Affirmation is foundational, not an add-on.
Ongoing couples work and sexuality-oriented care
Beyond the intensive program, our clinicians offer weekly couples therapy and sexuality-affirming care across Brooklyn, Manhattan and by telehealth — including sex-positive, ENM, kink-aware and LGBTQIA+ affirming practice.
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Lily Hetzler, LMSWCouples and non-conventional relationship structures. ENM, polyamory and kink affirming, working with IFS and somatic approaches. Also sees individuals on intimacy and dating.
Read bio → -
Amber Banks, LMSWIndividuals, couples, and people in relationships of every configuration — triads, polycules, professional partnerships. LGBTQIA+, poly/ENM and kink affirming, IFS and TF-CBT.
Read bio → -
Sydney Morris, LMSWRelationships of all kinds — romantic, platonic, familial, professional — including monogamous, ENM and polycule structures. EMDR-trained. Virtual only.
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Rachel Cole Glod, LCSWCouples and relationship therapy using AEDP and DBT. Licensed in both New York and Massachusetts. Clinical supervisor. Virtual only.
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Fran Mackin, LCSWCouples work on communication, intimacy, conflict resolution and rebuilding trust, alongside chronic health and body image. ACT-informed. Virtual only.
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Madison Houck, MHC-LPCouples work grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy, with training in EFT for individuals, IFS and Somatic Experiencing. Insecure attachment and codependency. Virtual only.
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Sydney Brower, LMSWIndividuals and couples navigating dating, intimacy and maladaptive relational patterns. Trained in EFT, ERP, CBT, DBT and EMDR.
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Kristen Folkerts, LMSWCompleted the Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy externship. Gender and sexuality affirming, psychodynamic, trauma-informed.
Read bio → -
Fiona Joffroy, LMSWAdolescents, adults and couples navigating relational challenges, anxiety and grief. Integrates psychodynamic, CBT, DBT and EFT.
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Emily St. Amour, LMSWAdults, teens and couples. Open relationships, LGBTQIA2S+ identities, attachment trauma and family estrangement.
Read bio →
Not sure who fits? Our intake coordinator will match you. Get in touch → or browse the full team →
We'll tell you honestly if an intensive isn't right.
Intensives are not appropriate where there is active domestic violence, untreated substance use, or an immediate safety concern. We assess carefully before booking.
If an intensive isn't the right step, we will always offer a path forward — individual therapy first, weekly couples work, or a referral to a specialist better suited to what you're facing.
What you might be wondering.
Why does an intensive cost more than weekly therapy?
An intensive involves specialized training, extended sessions, and substantial preparation before you arrive. The work is focused and high-impact, which is why it can move things that weekly sessions have not. In practice the cost is often comparable to several months of weekly therapy, condensed into a far shorter period.
Is an intensive a replacement for ongoing therapy?
It depends on the couple. For some it is a starting point or a catalyst that makes weekly work possible. For others it stands alone. We decide that together, based on clinical fit rather than a fixed rule.
Do intensives work for high-conflict relationships?
Often, yes. Continuity is exactly what high-conflict couples tend to lack — weekly sessions can end just as something real opens up. An intensive removes that ceiling. We do assess carefully first; see the note on fit above.
Does insurance cover an intensive?
Intensives are fee-for-service. Insurance does not reimburse extended session formats, though we provide superbills on request. Ongoing weekly therapy at BIPS, including couples and sex therapy, is billed separately and may be covered in network.
Do we need previous couples therapy experience?
No. Many couples come to an intensive as their first step. The pre-intensive intake gives Valarie what she needs to work effectively with you from the start.
Can we do an intensive virtually?
Yes, over secure video, in the same format as in person. Many couples find that the privacy of their own space supports the depth of the work.
What if we are not sure we want to stay together?
That is a legitimate reason to come in. An intensive can help you understand what is actually happening between you, which is what makes any decision — in either direction — a considered one rather than a reactive one.
Your relationship deserves more than fifty minutes.
Reach out to begin the conversation. Our intake team will connect you with Valarie, or match you with the right therapist for ongoing couples or sex therapy at BIPS.
Get in touch